In Exodus 3-4 God calls Moses to go to Egypt and rescue the Israelites. The Lord Almighty does this by speaking to him out of a bush, revealing wonders of who he is and demonstrating his power through signs. Yet during this incredible encounter with God, Moses does not focus on the wonder and majesty of God but on his own failings and weaknesses
Moses asks God who he is that he should do this task and in response God tells him he will be with him and tell him what to say. Yet Moses doesn’t focus on the fact that God Almighty is with him but on what would happen if he is not believed. In response God shows Moses incredible signs that he can use to demonstrate that God is with him. Moses does not respond in awe at the power of God but instead tells God about his lack of ability to speak well. God reminds him that he gave humans their mouths and the ability to speak, he says he will teach him what to say. Then after all of that Moses tells God to send someone else and by this point God is angry so decides Aaron will speak instead of Moses.
Now I read this and I am like ‘come on Moses!’ how can you encounter God in such an incredible way and be focused on you and not him. However, the truth is I have acted like Moses on many occasions, I have looked at my own ability to handle a situation and freaked out because I seem so inadequate. This was a constant battle when I was chronically ill, my human physical ability was low and my capacity unpredictable. When this was my focus I despaired, I often had to ask God to forgive me when I got consumed by my own shortcomings, but he is gracious and forgives us our sin (1 John 1:9 ). By his power and grace he used me when I was in that situation to bless others, but my eyes needed to be on him.
So if today you are facing something difficult where are your eyes focused? On you or on God? Your ability or situation don’t matter, God can do anything, nothing is impossible for him (Matthew 19:26, Mark 10:27). He is the all-powerful, all-knowing God who is with you (Deuteronomy 20:4).
Here are some posts about how I engaged with God when I was chronically ill: